Transcript
A: Do you know that an elephant’s pregnant for 24 months?
B: 24 months? What?
A: Yeah, I know, right?
B: It gets probably real big. Well, elephants are kind of big in itself.
A: How do they find maternity jeans? Like how many baby showers do you think they have to have? Totally.
B: Like a lot.
A: So, clearly these two want to make out. I mean, who doesn’t want to french after talking about elephant pregnancy?
B: Sexual tension.
A: But making out with glasses presents a little bit of a different ripple to your normal hookup routine. But don’t make the mistake of thinking that having glasses is as traumatic as, say, having a hook for a hand, or being covered with scales underneath your clothes. It’s not a handicap. It’s just a teensy-tiny little obstacle. So, we’re going to let my delicious boo Mike here tell us how to french with glasses. My God, I can, like, see Lincoln’s assassination through these things.
C: Guys, listen. Kissing with glasses might pose an obstacle, but it’s not crazy. So, just look and observe.
A: Hi.
C: Hi. You looked really cute in calculus class.
A: Thanks. I look good when I’m diagramming cosines.
C: The only time wearing glasses poses a problem, is the switch.
A: Right.
C: So just be careful on the switch.
A: Right.
C: The switch is not this, it’s this, switch, this.
A: Mm-hmm. Right.
C: That’s all. That’s honestly the only difference. You want to see the switch? Let’s show them the switch. Ready? Turn, switch.
A: If you are having a problem where your glasses are hitting another person’s glasses, or their glasses are hitting your face, you’re kissing way too close, and you’re mashing your mouth up against theirs in a way that probably isn’t very sexy or enticing. So don’t be afraid to just leave a little bit of sexy distance between you and their face, and don’t go quite so deep in their mouth.
