Transcript
A:There is nothing more disappointing than finding someone that you really like. You can’t wait to get alone and you guys start making out. And then you realize they’re the worst kisser on planet earth. Tongues everywhere, slobber city, hands all over the place. What are you going to do? Are you just going to break up with this person, even though you really like them? No. That’s very tempting, but really, it’s the coward’s way out.
It’s really easy to fix a bad kisser if you know how. Chances are, someone who can’t kiss has just been taught bad habits in their past and they’re actually looking for ways to please you and to be better. And you can give them those hints without being totally ruinous to their ego.
Let’s see this in action. This is my boy Mike. He is horrible at kissing.
B: I’m like top 5 worst ever.
A: Top 3.
B: Top 3 worst ever. USA Today.
A: Let’s see his terrible technique.
[Pause]
A: Oh my god, don’t point it at me. Okay, okay.
B: That wasn’t good enough for you?
A: Instead of saying that. Instead of being overcome with revulsion and throwing up in their face, here’s what you can do. Let’s try this again. Notice I’m putting my hand on his face to control the action and the amount of tongue that comes into this radius.
[Pause]
A: You know what I really like?
B: What do you like?
A: This is crucial, ladies. And gents. Saying what you like makes the person respond to you without it being a direct criticism on their skills. You’re saying “I don’t like it when you do this.” People don’t really respond well to that. But you can say “You know what I like? I like it when you kiss me really softly.”Just like a little tongue and then you can work up to just going for it. So that we’re totally in sync. Because, as I have talked about before, the best kissers are the ones who are mirror images of each other. There’s complete reciprocity and give and take at the exact same time.
This is hard to achieve, but when you do, it’s like the perfect, golden, enlightenment, fluffy, magical, nuclear scenario.
B: All of that.
A: So, let’s try this again. Kiss me poorly as you do.
B: Hey, girl. You want to get kissed?
A: Yeah.
B: I’m about to kiss you good.
A: Good. You know what I like? When you’re really soft and sexy when I get to feel your lips.
B: Oh, yeah?
A: Okay. But let’s say that your guy or your girl doesn’t really pick up on this. Here’s what you can do. Use a third-party example to illustrate your point. This way, it removes his or her ego from the entire equation. Say something like “Oh, my gosh. I was hanging out with Julie the other day and she was talking about her boyfriend. And apparently when he kisses her, he’s like (makes noise)”.
B: Who kisses like that?
A: Right? And I was like “We are so much better. We go lips, lips, lips, little tongue, little tongue, little tongue.”
B: Lips, lips, lips, little tongue. That’s what I do.
A: Exactly. That what he does. Even if a guy doesn’t do this, he’s going to want to take the cues. He’s going to feed what it is you’re giving him. And he’s going to absorb it, because people, men, women, anybody. They want to be better. And they want to please you. And if the person you’re with doesn’t want to please you. Why are you with them?
