Transcript
The key to giving a good kiss with a lot of tongue ironically is to be very sparing when you use your tongue. I have said this so many times, please listen, and please obey me. At no point during your make out session should your tongue touch your partner’s lips before your lips do. So this is what should not happen: How horrible was that?
Here wait- let me do it again.
Okay.
Oh that was the worst ever- I’ve never experienced something worse than that.
Oh I have. I really have. You should never. The tongue comes after. The tongue is maybe the main course but you have to build up to it with appetizers. The appetizers are the lips. So you want to kiss, kiss, kiss, with the lips then pop the tongue. So once the tongue is in the scenario, you want to make sure your rhythm matches your partner’s rhythm. So everything that you’re doing your partner is also reciprocating so you guys are a mirror image of one another. So this means to go slowly, let your partner, if you’re the girl, let the man set the pace. Let him decide how much tongue goes in, and then more, and then more, and then more, until you guys are going at it. But again, if he pulls away, your tongue should not be out of your mouth. Reel it back in ladies and boys.
Wait, you want to see it? Okay.
So it’s like a dinner, so it’s appetizers first.
And I love appetizers; I love to fill up on appetizers.
Right, it’s calamari first, and here comes the Cesar salad, oh is my steak done, please put the filet mignon down, thank you.
See how it’s little, but it’s not overwhelming?
Right?
It’s there, but not like the scene from Aliens, it’s just a little bit.
Sometimes what looks good on camera is not actually what feels good and is not what is enticing to your partner. So a little bit goes a long way with tongue and with main courses, especially if you’re trying to lose weight, just eat half of whatever it is they serve.
So, you don’t want to see this.
No. Let’s show them what not to do.
Ready?
This is going to be horrible.
Alright, what not to do.
I don’t even want to do it.
Let’s just show them what not to do.
God, are you my golden retriever? It’s like kissing a dog.
Guys, there’s nothing worse, when you’re trying to go in for a passionate kiss for a girl, and she thinks it’s going to be all sexy, and boom, there’s a tongue that comes out like some hideous lizard attacking your face. It might look something like this:
Oh you want it?
Yeah.
