How to Be a Better You

Transcript The goal of any relationship is to enter it as an individual to maintain your individuality and to know that that your purpose is to contribute to the overall growth and success of that relationship. A relationship is actually 3 entities you know its 2 people and the relationship. But there is lot of …

Transcript Hello, my name is Stephanie Florman. I’m a professional coach and a relationship expert who is really passionate about keeping the work fun, keeping it real and keeping it relevant. Now I got into this work because I have always struggled in my relationships. I’ve struggled in my personal relationships and I’ve struggled in …

Transcript Closure is about the successful ending of a relationship. All to often we put closure on somebody else. We want somebody else to do something or say something so that we can move on. And all that really does is keep us stuck. So, creating closure is important for you to move forward. And …

Transcript There is definitely a difference between a lazy day which everybody should be able to enjoy and a lazy lifestyle. You know when we are talking laziness it’s having the ability to do something and not doing it. And the concern with laziness is that oftentimes the things that people are lazy about they …

Transcript People can have insecurities about anything the way that look. People have insecurities about the way that they feel. People have insecurities about the way that they perform, about the way that they interact and the list goes on and on. When it comes to insecurities, what I have found is that the key …

Transcript The female brain is hard wired for relationship.As women, we need female friendships.It is the way we wear designs.One of the most under utilized resources available to us.Female brain is a co-operative brain.It is a collaborative brain.We are men-zed to work together to help each other to get where we need to go. It …

Transcript I think unfortunately for most people, it takes a really big challenge or trauma or tragedy to help them realize how incredibly strong and resilient they’ve been all along. You know, unfortunately we are socialised to not believe in ourselves, we are trained not to believe in our unique gifts, in our strengths or …

Transcript Anger is an emotion, and emotions are messengers. Okay, when we feel angry that lets us know that our boundaries have been crossed in some way. Now there are two types of boundary crossings. One is a violation of intrusion. If this is the boundary, somebody’s crossed it. They’ve done something physical, they’ve done …

Transcript What we’re looking at is a tremendous waste of energy, knowing that we should be doing something that we’re not doing, which stops us from doing something that we could be doing. So it really is just very very very unproductive, stress-inducing, you know, state, that we keep ourselves in. You know, I think …

Transcript The best way to make your life more meaningful is to understand that, if you are here, you have a purpose for being here and it is your responsibility to live your purpose to the fullest. You know, some people have a purpose and their lives look more meaningful because they’ve accomplished a lot …

Transcript Self awareness is really exactly what it sounds like. It is the awareness of yourself, your internal world that’s made up of your thoughts and your feelings and your external world which is made up of your choices and the consequences of those choices. Somebody who is self aware understands their thought process and …

Transcript Affirmations are positive statements that you tell yourself, to really keep it simple. Me, personally I am not a fan affirmations, I do not encourage clients to use affirmations, because they really work on the conscience level of your minds. What I do encourage my clients to do is to take action. You can …

Transcript I think that wisdom is something that comes from within. I am a big believer that we all have wisdom and as a coach I really encourage my clients to remember that they have all of their answers. You know as a coach we are in this unique position where people are coming to …

Transcript The trick to getting unstuck in life is to stop trying to get unstuck. When we are stuck, there’s usually a good reason why and like anything else, it’s not good to indulge in it. It’s about understanding that being stuck, could be a temporary experience. If you push yourself out of being stuck, …

Transcript Optimism is a state of mind. It’s a decision to process the experiences in your life in such a way where you think that everything is happening for you. And you choose to make all of your experiences work to your benefit in some way. Now as somebody who is an optimist, you know …

Transcript I think the biggest secret to self-actualization is that there’s really no such thing, because as a human being for you to go through life you need to be open to learning and growing and evolving. You know the person that you were yesterday does not need to be the person that you are …

Transcript Sabotage is a way of protecting ourselves from something that we perceive as dangerous or something that we fear, So we intentionally or unintentionally prevent something from happening. And when it comes to sabotage you know there are reasons why we do the things that we do even if they’re dysfunctional, even if they …

Transcript Positive thinking has always been around, but it has become more and more popular as documentaries like The Secret have become mainstream. Positive thinking is exactly what it sounds like. It’s taking a thought and making it positive. The benefits of positive thinking are that like attracts like, but no different than an affirmation. …

Transcript I think the biggest thing to consider, that when we’re getting in our way, it’s a defense mechanism that’s trying to protect us. You know, an example of that comes to mind is a client that I’ve worked with who was sexually abused. This client came to me hoping to reduce their weight and …

Transcript I would say that paying it forward is really common in action its its putting out there what it most like to receive back. I think that there are lots of fun ways that you could pay it forward and I think that paying it forward makes life a lot more enjoyable. A whether …

Transcript I think that the, the challenging thing is, you need to accept how you are and really work with it. You know there are some benefits to being a more uptight structured person just how there are some benefits to being a really laid back person. I think that if an uptight person, you …

Transcript The Secret is a spiritual documentary that really introduced the law of attraction into the mainstream society. I mean we had Oprah talking about the law of attraction and how it impacts our lives. The law of attraction states that like attracts like so thinking good thoughts will bring good things to you, thinking …

Transcript Visualization is something that has become more popular as a result of The Secret in our awareness of the law of attraction that we really need to have a clear picture in our minds of what we want. Now lucky for all of us our minds thinks in terms of pictures. So as someone …

Transcript Sometimes someone not giving you what you think you need from them is the answer to your prayers. If you find yourself in a situation where you’re surrounded by negativity and you’re craving appreciation or validation, or that pat on the back. You are being asked to give that to yourself. The thing about …

Transcript Well, I always love this question, and it relates to one of my favorite quotes. It says, ‘We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We’re spiritual beings having a human experience.’ And what that really means to me is that our nature is spiritual, who we are. We are spiritual beings having …

Transcript I think that the biggest challenge with trying to be happy is that it really sets us up for failure. You know happy, joy, it’s an emotion, meaning it’s coming and going, there are ups and downs. To put yourself in a position where you feel like you are expected to be happy all …

Transcript Worrying is really a waste of energy. It’s very unproductive, because what we’re doing is spending our time thinking about all of the what ifs, all of the things that could happen. Now, worriers sometimes make for great company because we’re usually prepared for worst case scenarios. Something that really helped me to stop …

Transcript I’m always amazed that when I am coaching clients at the compassion, sincerity, or happiness that they are able to feel for other people’s accomplishments, and yet how quick they are to judge themselves and be harsh on themselves for whatever it is that’s going on in their life. Learning to love yourself, in …

Transcript I really find the concept of patience funny because we live in such a fast-paced society where we always on to go and and we don’t have a a dynamic that supports us in being patient. So being patient insinuates that you are waiting for something or you are wanting something, so to start …

Transcript Jealousy is an emotion and like all emotions, jealousy has a message. The message in jealousy is saying that you can have that too. Underneath that wanting is usually a fear of some kind of loss or some kind of betrayal. So the first step to anything is self-awareness so when you find yourself …

Transcript Positivity is a choice, it takes just as much effort to be positive as it does to be negative. Somebody who’s looking at their world through positive eyes is going to embrace challenges as opportunities. They’re going to look at failures as potential. They have a way of twisting and turning and bending information …

Transcript Tolerance is a really major piece in all of our puzzles. And I think that life gives us a tremendous opportunity to work on becoming more tolerant. Ultimately, we are in no place to judge, and that’s just the bottom line. Nobody is in a place to judge us, and we’re not in a …

Transcript Stress is a guarantee of our daily lives. Every day we are bound to have some kinds of stress. So we have a choice. We can look at our stress and use it to our advantage, which would increase our health. Or we could let stress get the best of us. The first thing …

Transcript I think that just the word risk is something that people have negative association with it because it applies something that potential for danger, it applies the possibility of something bad happening. You know a risk I would define as an opportunity to go outside of your comforts on, its an action that you …

Transcript When your working with a coach there’s a level of accountability its a success partnership you know what you put into it is what you will get out of it. So the first thing that you need to do as your own life coach is to create a level of accountability. The next thing …

Transcript Well, I know that they say that envy is one of the deadly sins. You know personally I just think envy is energy like everything else. We like to say envy is a negative energy. A negative really just speaks to the direction that, that energy moves. So envy is definitely a heavier downward …

Transcript Stress is really self-imposed. A lot of the stress we experience is because we are putting expectations and limitations on our self. Now every single day there are things that we have to do to be highly functional, emotionally matured adults. Then there are things that we want to do and I think that …

Transcript Confidence is about how you carry yourself, but it’s also about how you integrate your experiences. The most confident people are those people who go out and practice. I do not believe that somebody is born confident. I believe that you create confidence and a confident person is going to say yes to opportunities …

Transcript Forgiveness is a choice and for many of us it’s a difficult choice. Because it involves acknowledging that we have been hurt and realizing that another person has hurt us. Now when it comes to forgiveness, we have to look at hurt and realize that there are 2 different types of hurt. There are …

Transcript Well I know when we all think of courage I specially think of the Lion in the visit of us because that journey really shows us that we have what we need within us and that is just the matter of realizing it or remembering it. You know I think that our fears are …

Transcript I think the first thing to understand about our comfort zone is that life happens outside of our comfort zone you know our comfort zone is that little box that we live within and there’s the whole big life waiting beyond our comfort zone . I am a big believer that small consistency changes …

Transcript Motivation is all about accountability and it’s also about knowing your why. It’s not enough to know what you are looking to do, you need to have the why behind it. So to get motivated the first thing that you need is a support system, you need a success team, you need somebody in …

Transcript When it comes to forgiving ourselves it’s really important that we get specific about what needs to be forgiven. If we have done something that we know has hurt another person, even if it was unintentional, the best thing that we could do to start the process of self-forgiveness is to take responsibility for …

Transcript We all fall somewhere along the introversion, extroversion spectrum. Being outgoing would be along the lines of being more of a extrovert. I personally believe that every situation is different and every circumstance is different, but I do think that knowing how to be outgoing can benefit you in your personal and professional relationships. …

Transcript I think its interesting that people would be curious about being mysterious where we live in a world that really values very little privacy. You know we value putting ourselves out there you know between social media and reality television were not a world to really lives very much to the imagination. We finds …

Transcript There are lots of ways to increase your self-esteem but I’ve found in my own journey that a lot of them are really superficial and don’t really get you to where you need to go. What has worked for me when increasing self-esteem is therapy and it’s been a specific type of therapy called …

Transcript The best way to make more friends is to put yourself in environments that you naturally like, because people who share values and people who share interests already have two very powerful things in common to build a strong foundation for that relationship. The biggest problem that people have to day is that time …

Transcript The best way to overcome a fear of failure is to fail and to know that you’re still going to be okay. Most people who fear failure fear it to the point where they don’t even let themselves begin. It’s the ultimate sabotage and it’s the ultimate excuse to keep everything exactly the way …

Transcript Charisma is that intangible energy, that makes somebody really attractive. And when I use the word attractive, I mean the ability to hold what they want towards them; whether its people, opportunities, experiences. The person who has charisma, has a purpose. They wake up in the morning and they are exited about their life. …

Transcript Personally I am not a fan of small talk, I enjoy big talk. I enjoy talking about purpose, I enjoy having meaningful conversations that really gets to the heart of the matter quickly. So that being said I encourage you to consider that big talk is much better for you than small talk. And …

Transcript Becoming a better person is really all about stepping into your potential. Potential is something that all of us have, but it’s not something that all of us use. So, becoming a better person starts with you understanding that you have potential. You have a purpose, you have a reason for being here, and …

Transcript Smiling is about really coming from your heart. You know for me my family would be very happy that all of the money that they invested in me having such good teeth was put to good use, because as a generally happy person I love to smile. And if I’m not generally happy about …

Transcript I always look at men and the way they communicate and I’ve been known to say that I have male brain envy. Because there is just a simplicity and a directness that is inherent in your communication style that’s severely lacking in the female brain, even though our brains are wired to communicate. So …

Transcript When it comes to communication as women our brains are hard-wired to communicate. You know just how men need sex to function women need communication to function. We like to talk about our thoughts and our feelings and we like to process them. We are okay just kind of sitting in the middle of …

Transcript Well, the best way to recognize if you’re shy is that you’re going to have an extreme focus on yourself. You’ll be more focused on you than your environment and you’ll be more focused on you than the people around you. Most likely you will dread any type of interaction or connection with another …

Transcript First, you wouldn’t be watching this video if you were a narcissist because you would have no intention to improve in any way at all, and everything is really everybody else’s problem or concern. So the number one challenge with the narcissist is that, they don’t even recognize that they have a problem. They …

Transcript When it comes to brainwashing and mind control, your best resource is really censoring the information that you subject yourself to. Every time you turn on the television, every time you open a book, every time you are out and about your unconscious mind is being flooded with information that is intended to control …