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Food & DrinkBar Life & the Art of Drinking

How To Become a Barfly

Instructions

  • Step 1: Pick a small bar Think pub, not club. You want a place that is small enough for you to be noticed.
  • TIP: Pick a pub near either your home or your workplace, to make pop-ins convenient.
  • Step 2: Befriend the workers Make friends with the people who work at the bar.
  • Step 3: Meet the regulars Meet the other regulars. You want the bar to become your home away from home—a place you can go to watch the game when you don’t want to be alone.
  • TIP: The quickest way to impress bartenders and bar regulars alike is to spring for a round of drinks every now and then.
  • Step 4: Tell jokes Tell your bartender your latest jokes rather than your newest problems. You’ll distinguish yourself from the customers who come to cry in their beer.
  • Step 5: Don’t talk too much Know when to just kick back and take it all in, rather than chatter incessantly with the staff or other regulars. You want to be a barfly, not a bar pest.
  • Step 6: Don’t get drunk Don’t get drunk. If you’re like most people, too much liquor makes you more obnoxious and less entertaining than you think.
  • Step 7: Tip well When in doubt, tip better. This is the fastest way to a bartender’s heart.
  • FACT: The classic sitcom ‘Cheers’ was in last place in the Nielsen ratings the week it debuted.

You Will Need

  • A neighborhood watering hole
  • Money
  • And an easygoing nature

Lessons in this Guide

How to Cure a Hangover with the Latest Science

How to Make a Still

How to Tap a Keg

How to Drink Four Loko Responsibly

How to Calculate Blood Alcohol Level

How to Like Beer

How to Sell Alcohol at an Event

How to Drink in Moderation

How to Drink Scotch

How to Chill Beer on the Beach

How to Build a Beer Kegerator

How to Drink like a Man

How to Choose the Proper Cocktail Glass

How to Drink Absinthe

How to Order Drinks like a Bartender

How to Avoid Getting a Hangover

How to Crush a Beer Can on Your Head

How to Quickly Eliminate Beer Foam

How to Keep Beer Cold

How to Do a Shot

How to Clean Out Your Liquor Cabinet

How to Properly Stir a Cocktail

How to Bounce a Drunk

How to Stock a Home Bar

How to Avoid Drinking When You’re the Designated Driver

How to Get Guys to Buy You Drinks

How To Become a Barfly

How to Order in a Bar

How to Get a Free Drink from a Bartender

How to Get a Drink at a Crowded Bar

How to Keep Ice Cubes Frozen Longer

How to Make a Shot Glass Out of Ice

How to Pack a Beer Cooler

How to Cure a Hangover

How to Hold Your Liquor

How to Fake Being Sober

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