Relationship Survival Guide

Instructions Step 1: Take stock Take stock of the situation. If you drunk dialed a distant ex looking for a little somethin’ somethin’, just let it go. Calling back to apologize or explain won’t improve the situation — it will only make you look lamer. TIP: Consider deleting ancient history from your phone. Step 2: …

Instructions Step 1: Pick a partner Choose a partner who shares your desire for sex that’s completely devoid of emotion. Consider an acquaintance who isn’t part of your inner circle to avoid awkward moments among mutual friends. Step 2: Get grounded Set ground rules at the outset to help maintain consistent expectations for the friends …

Instructions Step 1: Tell no one. Tell no one. Even if friends and family don’t slip up with words, they could give away the surprise with their behavior. If you need help with your surprise proposal, ask people who don’t know your intended. Step 2: Make it random Propose during an unplanned moment — a …

Instructions Step 1: Just ask Ask your partner who their new “friend” is, and then look at their pupils. If they dilate, your question may have touched a nerve. And if they touch their mouth, nose, or ears a lot and launch into a detailed explanation of how innocent the relationship is, you may have …

Instructions Step 1: Make peace Find common ground in disagreements with your wife, avoiding indicting adverbs like “never” and “always.” Be the best husband ever and remember what she means to you. Step 2: Pay attention Pay attention at the smallest, least significant moments. Make every moment count by listening, having a simple catch-up-the-day conversation …

Instructions Step 1: Pay attention Pay more attention to your partner than you do to your hobbies or the TV. Marriage is not a part-time job — you can’t achieve happiness in your marriage until you’re present and participating. Step 2: Change the outlook Change the way both of you act and experience the marriage …

Instructions Step 1: Look at patterns Look at recurrent patterns in the relationship. Is it characterized by drama, conflict, and bouts of infidelity? Are you concerned about how the two of you appear as a couple to others? Do you need your partner to measure up to standards that aren’t their own? If so, you’ve …

Instructions Step 1: Do nice things Do something nice for your husband every day, using a smile, a kind word, or a soft touch. Be the best wife, supportive and kind, by listening to his problems. Step 2: Be a friend and confidant Support your husband and understand his needs like a best friend would. …

Instructions Step 1: Put your spouse first Put your spouse first. Treat them better than anyone else. Do not talk about them behind their back. Make your role of husband or wife the most important, even over the role of mom or dad. Step 2: Put things in perspective Put things in perspective. Let the …

Instructions Step 1: Plan out the trip together Plan the trip together and include activities that you’ll both love. This should be about strengthening the connection between you and your partner, and anticipating the trip together will bring you closer. Step 2: Stay in your room Spend some quality time in your room. Order room …

Instructions Step 1: Love yourself Love yourself first and be confident with who you are. Step 2: Be positive Have a positive attitude. Spend time with your friends and family, get a new haircut, and treat your body well with exercise and a healthy diet. Take time for yourself and have fun. Step 3: Be …

Instructions Step 1: Talk to your children Explain why your partner took a job miles from home so that your children don’t worry that mom and dad are getting divorced. Be matter-of-fact about the reason for the weekday separation without making the children fret about family finances. Step 2: Take advantage of technology Use technology …

Instructions Step 1: Consider the outcome Consider the outcome. Ask your partner how they envision the relationship. Does it have long-term potential or is it just for fun? If one sees marriage while the other is thinking summer fling, someone’s going to get hurt. TIP: Give honest answers. There’s no point in lying and telling …

Instructions Step 1: Look for support Look for support in your relationship. If you feel your partner is always there through life’s ups and downs, forgives you when you are wrong, and supports all of your goals, you know you are in a healthy relationship. TIP: Say you are sorry when you are wrong and …

Instructions Step 1: Maintain schedule Maintain a strict schedule. Avoid enabling the workaholic’s erratic behavior. Don’t adjust meal times and don’t keep the kids up late to see the parent — break the cycle. Step 2: Sacrifice but speak Understand their pressures, but insist that they be sensitive to how this affects everyone else. You’re …

Instructions Step 1: Evaluate time Evaluate how much time you spend together now. If you spend over half your nights together, you probably have a good idea what it is like to spend a lot of time with your partner and won’t be surprised about habits or quirks. Step 2: Date for at least six …

Instructions Step 1: Know your audience Know your partner’s tastes, especially when it comes to public displays of affection. What’s hopelessly romantic to one person is mortifyingly cheesy to another. Step 2: Avoid cliches Avoid cliches. If your romantic gesture is a staple of bodice-ripping novels and bad rom-coms, it’s probably more cheesy than romantic. …

Instructions Step 1: Talk and share Set rules for discussion of common relationship problems, like meeting in a public place to talk to avert raised voices. Agree not to interrupt, or use absolute or accusatory phrases like “You always…” or “You never… .” Step 2: Demonstrate willingness Slow down and make time to share dreams, …

Instructions Step 1: Assess your relationship Assess your time together. Every relationship evolves differently, but it’s best to wait at least two months before saying the “L” word. Step 2: Plan ahead Think ahead to plan something special such as a night out, dinner at home, or ice cream in the park and seize the …

Instructions Step 1: Take responsibility Take full responsibility for your actions and admit fault. Be sincere. Step 2: Express yourself Express your feelings to her in a calm and caring manner. Step 3: Give time Be patient and give her time to respond to your efforts. Step 4: Listen Listen to her and be empathetic …

Instructions Step 1: Take the first step Take the first step and say you are sorry. TIP: Be sincere in your apology. Step 2: Take responsibility Take full responsibility for your actions and admit you were wrong. Step 3: Talk Talk to your husband calmly about your feelings and ask him about his. Do not …

Instructions Step 1: Ask for an explanation Ask your friend to explain their relationship and what’s wrong with it. Then repeat what your friend says, using your own words. Step 2: Have them explain what they want Listen to your friend as they explain what they want to happen with their relationship and what they …

Instructions Step 1: Marry a Beta man Get yourself a “Beta husband” — a man who cedes the power in the relationship to you. Step 2: Make a lot of money Have a job that pays well. You’ll need it, because Beta men are rarely high earners. In fact, they tend to be as indifferent …

Instructions Step 1: Work together Make your partner your teammate. Genuinely cheer their successes, and pick up the slack and offer support when they face difficult personal issues. Remember: few teams that give in to personal rivalries ever go all the way. Step 2: Share your needs Identify the people, activities, and attitudes that matter …

Instructions Step 1: Assess the situation Ask yourself why your ex is still enough of a presence in your life to be creating problems in your current relationship. Unless it’s because you share children, consider curtailing your involvement with them — or cutting off contact completely. Step 2: Do some soul searching Do some soul …

Instructions Step 1: Extend trust Signal that you are trusting by unilaterally extending your trust to the other person. TIP: Handshakes and other forms of social touching promote trust. Step 2: Make the other person happy Try to make the other person happy. Happiness fosters trust and this fosters more happiness. Step 3: Engage in …

Instructions Step 1: Assess the situation Ask yourself what it is about your partner’s ex that upsets you. Their attitude toward you? Continued closeness with your partner? Animosity toward your ex? Step 2: Search your soul Be honest about your role in the triangle. Could your own jealousy, insecurity, or resentment be partly to blame? …

Instructions Step 1: Do something fun, scary, or challenging Share activities that will make your hearts pound with excitement or make you laugh out loud. People find each other more physically attractive when their adrenaline is pumping. Step 2: Save the bedroom for sex Make your bedroom a place for sex, sleep, and nothing else. …

Instructions Step 1: Notice clues Notice clues like more “late nights at the office,” time on the computer (especially at night, when chat rooms get going), interest in appearance, mysterious phone calls, and abrupt hang-ups or computer shutdowns when you walk in. TIP: Less sex is not necessarily a sign of cheating. In fact, the …

Instructions Step 1: Be sure Make sure you’re moving in together for the right reasons. Moving in to fix your relationship problems may make those problems worse. Step 2: Make it home Make your new place feel like home. With a positive attitude and willingness to compromise, work with your partner to organize and decorate …

Instructions Step 1: Call them stupid Tell them they’re stupid. Step 2: Stand up for yourself Tell them that this is the way you express your intellect and smartess. Step 3: The French The French. You Will Need A Special Gal to defend Ignorant Idiot Moron Stupids to defend her from A Fashionable French Hat …

Instructions Step 1: Focus on yourself. Nothing is more attractive (and jealousy-inducing) than being busy, happy, and interested in your own life. Step 2: In the interest of ‘full disclosure,’ tell your current love interest—in a slightly wistful way—about the incredibly talented and well-toned professional soccer player you used to date. Step 3: Develop some …

Instructions Step 1: Realize jealousy is normal Realize that some jealousy in a relationship is perfectly normal. It only becomes destructive when it is an ongoing point of contention. Step 2: Assess your relationship Figure out the driving force behind your jealousy. Are you afraid you might lose your partner to someone else? Or are …

Instructions Step 1: Make your life happy Make your life happy and fulfilling without him. Contrary to popular belief, men want women who are fun and fascinating even more than they want a pretty face. TIP: Don’t pretend to be unavailable—be unavailable. Staying busy makes you seem more valuable—and gives you plenty to talk about! …

Instructions Step 1: Hold eye contact Make eye contact with the object of your affection and hold it for three seconds. This makes people a tad uncomfortable, which causes the brain to release phenylethylamine, the brain chemical that’s produced when we’re either very afraid — or falling in love. Step 2: Smile & look away …

Instructions Step 1: Don’t assume anything Never make assumptions. According to one survey, 70 percent of men and 82 percent of women agree that a couple is not in an exclusive relationship unless they have discussed it together and agreed to it. Step 2: Don’t rush things Wait until you’ve been dating for at least …

Instructions Step 1: Evaluate the relationship Before you ask him where the relationship is headed, think about how he treats you. Are you a priority in his life? Does he make compromises for you? The occasional sacrifice? If the answers are ‘no,’ ask yourself a question: Do you really want to marry this guy? Step …

Instructions Step 1: Be respectful Be respectful and considerate. Professional matchmakers say the vast majority of women request men with those qualities. TIP: Put the toilet seat down. It’s the number one complaint women have about men, according to one survey and spitting isn’t far behind. Step 2: Listen and respond Listen attentively and respond …

Instructions Step 1: Learn names Ask your boyfriend if he has a picture of his best buds so you will be able to put faces with names. Using a person’s name is a proven way to get on their good side. TIP: Don’t try picturing them naked to settle your nerves—you’ll only be more nervous, …

Instructions Step 1: Assess partner’s beliefs Clearly assess your partner’s beliefs or lack thereof. Atheists can fall anywhere along a continuum ranging from ‘Wish there were a God but I need proof’ to ‘Existence would be much better without the silly notion of God.’ Step 2: Debrief your partner on evangelicals Debrief your partner on …

Instructions Step 1: Quiz boyfriend Quiz your boyfriend. Are his parents liberal or conservative? Religious or agnostic? What are their hobbies? Did they take a recent trip? TIP: The more you know, the better you’ll be able to make pleasant chitchat and avoid conversational minefields. Step 2: Dress conservatively Err on the conservative side with …

Instructions Step 1: Find out about them Find out as much as you can about her parents. Are they ultra-conservative? Aging hippies? Avid travelers? Obsessed golfers? TIP: Knowing a bit about them will help you decide how to dress and which way to steer the conversation. Step 2: Get haircut & clean nails Get a …