Wedding Etiquette & Advice

Instructions Step 1: Listen to the bride Take cues from the bride about what she wants, but don’t let her end up running the whole shower. This is supposed to be a gift from the maid of honor or bridesmaids to the bride, so ultimately you make the decisions. Step 2: Send invites Send invitations …

Instructions Step 1: Prepare early Prepare your speech at least three weeks in advance. Prepare several drafts and have a trusted friend edit it for you. Step 2: Know what to say Know exactly what to say. Thank the bride and groom for asking you to take part in their special day — include a …

Instructions Step 1: Put the ring on the finger Wear the engagement and wedding ring on the fourth finger of the left hand. In the past, that finger was believed to be a direct connection to the heart. TIP: Brides wear “something old” as a connection to the past, combined with “something new,” for the …

Instructions Step 1: Use the registry Couples register for a reason–they’re politely picking out exactly what they want. Using their registry is the simplest way to get them something they need and like, and to help them complete matching sets like dishes or silverware. TIP: If you worry that choosing from a registry isn’t personal …

Instructions Step 1: Determine party type Determine the type of party you’re going to throw. Talk to the bride and get a sense of whether she wants a wild party or a more traditional get-together. Step 2: Schedule the party Schedule the date of the party. The weekend before the wedding is usually a good …

Instructions Step 1: Thank everyone individually Thank everyone individually who came to the shower and gave a gift. TIP: If a group of people went in on a gift write separate thank you cards for everyone. Step 2: Thank your guests Thank your guests for taking the time to come to the shower and share …

Instructions Step 1: Ask the venue Ask the venue to provide you with directions. Often, the venue will have prepared printed directions that you can copy and include with your invitations. Step 2: Test drive Take a test drive for yourself at the same time and day of the week your ceremony is to take …

Instructions Step 1: Stop from crying Stop your lip from quivering, and the tears from falling, by taking a deep breath and counting to 10. TIP: Repeat the process until you feel relaxed and calm. Step 2: Blink your eyes Blink your eyes faster and faster to prevent the tears from falling. Step 3: Imagine …

Instructions Step 1: Wait for your turn Wait for your turn. Custom dictates the bridal party, best man, and parents give their wedding toasts first. Use this time to collect your thoughts and relax. TIP: Limit your alcohol consumption until after your speech is done so you can think on your feet and avoid any …

Instructions Step 1: Compile addresses Compile a list of e-mail addresses early in the planning process. Double check for spelling to be sure they get to their intended recipients. TIP: If you are not going to send out paper invitations at all, make sure you make that clear in your e-invitation, so that don’t wait …

Instructions Step 1: Fill out the RSVP card Fill out the response card that came with the wedding invitation. If the invitation is addressed to two people and neither can go, write “two” on the “decline with regret” line. Step 2: Include a note Smooth hurt feelings by including a handwritten note on the response …

Instructions Step 1: Know why you’re doing it Discuss your motives for a prenup with your soon-to-be-spouse, and make sure you both see eye to eye on your reasons. Step 2: Don’t take it personally If your partner is interested in getting a prenup, try not to take it personally. Prenups have been made by …

Instructions Step 1: Start spreading the news Tell close family members and friends in person or on the phone – before you e-mail the news, post on Facebook, or update your Twitter status. Step 2: Don’t brag Be sensitive to any friends who may feel left out. And please: Do not make your upcoming nuptials …

Instructions Step 1: Schedule Schedule the party a few days before the wedding, but preferably at least a week ahead of time. Scheduling a party the night before the wedding is usually a mistake. Step 2: Invite friends and family Invite the groom’s male friends and relatives. Step 3: Set up a budget Plan a …

Instructions Step 1: Plan the timeline Implement a timeline. Invitations should be addressed and sent out six to eight weeks prior to the ceremony. TIP: Invitations should be neatly handwritten, rather than typed. Step 2: Use titles Use full names and titles on the outer envelopes. A married couple would be ‘Mr. and Mrs. John …

Instructions Step 1: Don’t get hung up on rules Throw out any old-fashioned notions of what you “have” to do. Let the bride’s personality dictate the theme. Does she have any hobbies? Special interests? A favorite indulgence? TIP: There’s no law that says men can’t be included. Ask the bride if she’d like a co-ed …

Instructions Step 1: Cut her a little slack Cut her a little slack. Planning a wedding is stressful and time-consuming – especially these days, when the bride is apt to have a full-time job and be paying for part of it herself. Step 2: Find your inner Zen Meet her hissy fits with Zen-like calmness; …

Instructions Step 1: Communicate openly Communicate openly about the present and the future. If she expresses a desire to raise a family together, she is likely interested in marriage. Step 2: Pay attention to attitude Note what she says about marriage, and write it down. If the experiences and discussions are positive, she is likely …

Instructions Step 1: Decide what you want Figure out what you want most. These days, you can register for just about anything: cash, mortgage payments, air travel, donations to your favorite charities, stocks, and so on. TIP: Limiting the registry options makes it more likely that guests will comply–so stick to what you really want! …

Instructions Step 1: Consider not inviting new partners Feel free to not invite anyone whose presence would put a damper on your big day. That includes a divorced parent you’re not on good terms with, or a parent’s new partner who may cause unbearable friction. Step 2: Create the invitations If the bride’s divorced parents …

Instructions Step 1: Get a room Reserve a room where the bride and groom suggest you stay, likely the nearest place to the reception. You can get rides with other guests, or perhaps catch a shuttle to the festivities. This way, you can drink with abandon and freshen up at will. Step 2: Buy a …

Instructions Step 1: Find some couples Find an upcoming wedding by studying the wedding announcements in the paper or—if you’re in the mood for a Catholic wedding—the wedding bans posted at local churches. Step 2: Do your research Search for the couples online. Plug their names into popular wedding portals like weddingchannel.com and theknot.com, which …

Instructions Step 1: Smile Smile. Your newly married pals thoughtfully seated you at a table of mutants, but if you’re smiling, no one can tell that you’re fantasizing about your sweet, sweet revenge. Step 2: Adopt a new persona Embrace your theatrical side. If you’ve ever wanted to try out that Australian accent, or fake …

Instructions Step 1: Follow the rules Find out the newspaper’s submission guidelines and follow them to the letter. Editors are busy, and they’re going to toss your application right into the bin if it’s missing critical information, is incorrectly formatted, or arrives after the deadline. Step 2: See eye-to-eye Send a photo in which the …

Instructions Step 1: Express excitement over the invitation When your invitation first arrives, be sure to express your excitement. RSVP yes. TIP: Trying to get out of the wedding too early could lead to suggestions about how you could get out of your alleged ‘conflict.’ Step 2: Decline a few weeks prior Act as if …

Instructions Step 1: Make it about her Think about your intended. Is she shy or outgoing? Traditional or modern? Deeply private or borderline exhibitionist? Would she be touched if you asked her dad for her hand in marriage, or offended? Step 2: Personalize it Consider ways you can make it personal, like proposing somewhere that …

Instructions Step 1: Suss out her taste Casually comment on someone else’s engagement ring; that should prompt her to describe what she likes. Or ask her loved ones for advice. Step 2: Consider her personality Take into account her personality and the jewelry she already owns. Does she like modern jewelry, or does she prefer …

Instructions Step 1: Time it Find a time when you can speak with your friend privately, in a quiet setting. Don’t wait until the last minute (like a week before the wedding)—one to six months before the big day would be ideal. Step 2: Stay calm Broach the subject calmly. Your argument is not going …

Instructions Step 1: Ask yourself why Ask yourself why you’re getting nervous. Is it marriage in general you don’t feel ready for—or a lifetime with your betrothed? Step 2: Make a list If it’s marriage that worries you, make a list of exactly what’s beginning to freak you out. If you’re just a little bit …

Instructions Step 1: Circulate and smile Let your social animal run free. Work the crowd, introduce yourself, and keep the conversation flowing. TIP: Don’t ignore couples, kids, and grandparents. Impress just one, and you’ll have an automatic wingman. Step 2: Show your best side Show your best side to the opposite sex. If you’re a …

Instructions Step 1: Call the officiant Call whoever is performing the ceremony and ask that person to deliver the bad news. If ever there was a ‘kill the messenger’ moment, this is it, so why put your BFF in danger? Step 2: Clear out your stuff While your ex and 200 of your loved ones …

Instructions Step 1: Sex them up Make your vows sexy. Say things that make everyone—old and young alike—cringe with embarrassment. Step 2: Hone your standup act Treat your vows like a stand-up routine. Step 3: Include inside jokes Include lots of inside jokes. Who cares if no one at the service knows what the hell …