Transcript
Speaker 2: OK. If you think that tonight is the night when you might make out with your crush there are a few very specific steps you must take. First of all, make sure your own game is as tight as possible.
Speaker 1: Jordan.
Speaker 2: I have said this so many times, and, honestly, I don’t know how many times I have to keep saying it. Bleach your teeth. Crest White strips 24.99. Plan ahead. Bleach your teeth. Because there is nothing more attractive to a boy, or a girl, than a deliciously white smile.
Barring that, make sure that you have brushed your teeth, not just applied a mint or a Listerine strip or…
Speaker 1: …Binaca…
Speaker 2: …a Binaca. Brush your teeth. This creates a nice, delicious, clean palate. OK?
Also, make sure that your surroundings signify romance. So, if they’re coming over to your house, clean up. I know that this might not be your own personal mansion. This isn’t MTV Cribs. It doesn’t have to be. You just have to present an environment that is conducive to you and them equals romance.
Ladies, do you know what the most attractive scent to a man is? Apple pie. The second most attractive scent? Lavender. Pick one of these things. Actually, third most attractive scent – cinnamon. So, pick one of these things, and make it the scent theme of your house. Apple pie, lavender, cinnamon. I’m not saying you have to bake a cinnamon apple lavender pie, but just create a scent-scape for your environment.
Dim the lighting. There is nothing less sexy than fluorescent lighting. And, girls, you know if you have fluorescent lighting. Turn the lights out in your bathroom. Create candles in strategic areas. You control the environment. You control the result.
Speaker 1: And, be sure to pick the right movie.
Speaker 2: You want a movie that encourages cuddling, so it has a few little surprises, but it’s funny, but it’s a little scary. Such as?
Speaker 1: Scream 2. Always go with Scream 2. It is the perfect storm of funny and scary. So it’s not scary like, I want to leave, it’s not that scary. But it’s slight moments of scare-dom, if you wish, so she goes, oh God!
Speaker 2: Oh no!
Speaker 1: Exactly. Just like that. So she touches her breasts a little bit. You love that. Also, it’s infused with little funny moments.
Speaker 2: Ladies, it doesn’t really matter what it is you’re watching. Find the excuse to jump up against your guy. And, guys, no matter what you are watching, I don’t care if it’s the NBC nightly news, if your girl’s like, oh no I’m so scared, you grab her and say, oh, oh baby, it’s OK.
Speaker 1: OK thank you.
Speaker 2: Just, don’t look boo.
Speaker 1: OK.
Speaker 2: Don’t look. I’m going to shield you from this.
Speaker 1: Thank you.
Speaker 2: Because women want to feel taken care of, and men want to feel competent. If you guys can combine these two you’ll have not only the best night ever but perhaps the best relationship ever.
Speaker 1: Aw.
Speaker 2: Oh my God! It’s the Scream guy!
